I wouldn’t say I’m scared of trimming Jack’s nails, it’s just not something I feel super-confident about my ability in.  I’ve only ever trimmed nails with clearly visible quicks, but Jack has a random spattering of opaque black nails that make me a little uneasy when it comes time to pull the clippers out.

I’d been putting it off recently because on my visits to two separate PetSmart stores, I was unable to locate any styptic powder and even when I was trimming the previously mentioned nails with clearly visible quicks, I always had some Kwik-Stop Styptic Powder on hand… just in case.  (For the record, I’ve never actually nicked a quick before – it’s just something that I’m always worried about.)

But we were at a point where I had to bite the bullet.  Jack’s nails were quickly turning into talons and my legs were bearing the mark of his penchant for pawing at me when he’d decided that I should stop watching TV and pay attention to him instead.  So when I saw a pair of high-tech clippers with a built in sensor that claimed they could tell you when it was safe to cut, I had to buy them.  I paid the $35.00 and headed home with my nifty new QuickFinder Dog Nail Clippers in hand – and I’ll be honest, I was more excited than I had ever been to clip a dog’s nails.

Imagine my disappointment when I tried to trim Jack’s nails with the worst pair of clippers I have ever used.

Here’s what was supposed to happen:

There are three coloured lights on the clippers.  As you position them over the nail, the appropriate light shines to tell you if it’s safe to cut.  Green means you can go ahead, yellow means you should be cautious, and red means DO NOT CUT RIGHT NOW UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR DOG TO YELP AND BLEED.

Here’s what actually happened:

I would slide the clippers over one of Jack’s nails and lightly squeeze as the directions told me to.  The lights would flicker in random order, completely confusing me and I would reposition the clippers.  The red light would come on, clearly telling me not to cut.  I would move the clippers closer to the point of the nail, and the red light would continue.  I would move them again, almost to the very tip of the nail, and the red light would stay solidly lit.  So I’d start again, and the lights would once again flicker on and off.  Repeat, over and over, until I was exasperated and decided to just go with my instinct and cut.  Only not only did the quick sensor not work, NEITHER DID THE CLIPPING BLADE.  It was so dull that instead of cutting Jack’s nail, it would crush it in on itself until it eventually broke off in a jagged, uneven end.

I tried a few nails, The Mister tried a few nails, Jack grew more and more restless with each repositioning while simultaneously growing more and more uneasy as his nails were crushed and raggedly severed.  We barely finished one paw when The Mister said:  ”This is ridiculous.  Let’s just take him in to have his nails trimmed by a professional.”

Dog owners?  Save your $35.00 CDN.  Or better yet, invest it in some professional nail trimming – because you’re going to need someone to fix your dog’s nails after the QuickFinder Dog Nail Clippers chews them up anyway.